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Fear

Hell on earth is not a place but a state of mind!
Have you lived in fear, cowered when a hand is raised, felt empty and alone, or felt that your life has been stolen from you because anxiety and depression is nipping at your heals? Is your laughter gone? Has your spirit been broken, and the word hope is no longer in your vocabulary? I was once in that dark place of no return. My mind, body, heart and soul were broken into a million pieces, and the fear running through my veins were earth shattering. My brain was numb to all rational thinking and thoughts of suicide were like taking a common every day breath. The only thing that saved me was a moment of clarity to realize that I couldn't leave my young children behind with this person I was married to. My isolation and captivity was complete. I am still in counseling for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 3 years later, but I am finding out who I really am for the first time in my life. I am loving, smart, funny, and most of all I have learned that I am a good wife and a good mother after 21 years of hearing I wasn't good enough for anything. My life has been forever changed, and life is good. Challenges still arise, but with my new husband and my family always there for me with unconditional love and support I am
making it one day at a time.
My dream is that one day divorce courts will address mental, verbal and psychological (emotional) abuse as a prosecutable offense. The scars run deep and wide with all forms of abuse, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.Research is starting to show that mental abuse is longer lasting to its victims than physical abuse. I can now say I am a survivor!
Hope is something I never had, until my escape became a reality not a dream. Hope is now a wonderful word in my vocabulary, and fear is a thing of the past. My number one goal is to finish school with a PHD degree in Pyschology so that I can help women and men, who are still in that dark place of no return and to keep my children safe and showing them that they are loved. I want to show victims that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a freedom of the soul they never thought possible. Abused women and men need to know that there is life after they go through hell on earth, a traumatic experience, that will forever change who they are and who they can be.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Teen Dating Violence
Tweens and teens are experiencing disturbing levels of violence in their dating relationships, but only half recognize the warning signs of a dangerous relationship. A 2008 study commissioned by Liz Claiborne and loveisrespect.org found:
  • 69 percent of all teens who had sex by age 14 said they have gone through one or more types of abuse in a relationship.
  • 40 percent of the youngest tweens, those between the ages of 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in relationships, and nearly one-in-ten (9 percent) say their friends have had sex.
  • Nearly three-in-four tweens (72 percent) say boyfriend/girlfriend relationships usually begin at age 14 or younger.
  • More than one-in-three 11-12 year olds (37percent) say they have been in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
  • One-in-five between the ages of 13 and 14 say their friends are victims of dating violence, such as getting struck, hit or slapped by a boyfriend or girlfriend, and nearly half of all tweens in relationships say they know friends who are verbally abused.
  • One-in-five 13-14 year olds in relationships (20 percent) say they know friends and peers who've been struck in anger (kicked, hit, slapped, or punched) by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • Only half of all tweens (51 percent) claim to know the warning signs of a bad/hurtful relationship.
  • In addition, significant numbers of teens (15-18) are experiencing emotional and mental abuse as well as violence when dating; it's even more prevalent among teens who've had sex by 14.
Abuse in a dating relationship can be confusing and frightening at any age. But for teenagers, who are just beginning to date and develop romantic relationships, this abuse is especially difficult.
When the abuse is physical or sexual, it can be easy to identify. Emotional abuse is much harder to recognize, but no less damaging.
At the 2008 Summer Meeting of the National Association of Attorneys General, Attorneys General from across the nation passed a resolution encouraging schools to develop teen dating violence awareness curriculum. The Washington State Attorney General's office already has a number of resources available to help, including:
This Web site was designed to help teens and the people who care about them understand relationship abuse. It includes information on:
  • Safety plans
  • Communication skills
  • Assertiveness
  • Conflict resolution and emotion management
  • Faulty relationship and gender role expectations
Schools, parents, teachers, and community organizations all can help identify dating violence and provide support for abuse victims. But teens themselves must also learn how to reach out and help friends who are victims of relationship abuse.
In partnership with the Washington State Medical Association, the Attorney General's Office has incorporated highlights from this Web site into a brochure. Please feel free to download, re-produce and distribute.
We hope the Web site and brochure will help you learn more about the issues surrounding teen dating violence. The resources and information are a first step in the education on this important issue.

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