Pages

Fear

Hell on earth is not a place but a state of mind!
Have you lived in fear, cowered when a hand is raised, felt empty and alone, or felt that your life has been stolen from you because anxiety and depression is nipping at your heals? Is your laughter gone? Has your spirit been broken, and the word hope is no longer in your vocabulary? I was once in that dark place of no return. My mind, body, heart and soul were broken into a million pieces, and the fear running through my veins were earth shattering. My brain was numb to all rational thinking and thoughts of suicide were like taking a common every day breath. The only thing that saved me was a moment of clarity to realize that I couldn't leave my young children behind with this person I was married to. My isolation and captivity was complete. I am still in counseling for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 3 years later, but I am finding out who I really am for the first time in my life. I am loving, smart, funny, and most of all I have learned that I am a good wife and a good mother after 21 years of hearing I wasn't good enough for anything. My life has been forever changed, and life is good. Challenges still arise, but with my new husband and my family always there for me with unconditional love and support I am
making it one day at a time.
My dream is that one day divorce courts will address mental, verbal and psychological (emotional) abuse as a prosecutable offense. The scars run deep and wide with all forms of abuse, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.Research is starting to show that mental abuse is longer lasting to its victims than physical abuse. I can now say I am a survivor!
Hope is something I never had, until my escape became a reality not a dream. Hope is now a wonderful word in my vocabulary, and fear is a thing of the past. My number one goal is to finish school with a PHD degree in Pyschology so that I can help women and men, who are still in that dark place of no return and to keep my children safe and showing them that they are loved. I want to show victims that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a freedom of the soul they never thought possible. Abused women and men need to know that there is life after they go through hell on earth, a traumatic experience, that will forever change who they are and who they can be.

Monday, November 12, 2012



little girl went
to her bedroom and
pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place
in the closet.


She poured the
change out on the floor and counted it
carefully. Three
times, even. The
total had to be exactly perfect.. No chance here
for mistakes.


Carefully placing
the coins back in the jar and twisting on the
cap, she
slipped out the back door and
made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store
with
the big red Indian Chief sign
above the door.

She waited
patiently for
the pharmacist to give
her some attention, but he was too busy at this
moment.
Tess twisted her feet to make a
scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her
throat
with the most disgusting sound
she could muster No good. Finally she took
a
quarter from her jar and banged it on
the glass counter. That did
it!


'And what do you want?' the
pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone
of
voice.. I'm talking to my brother
from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages,'
he
said without waiting for a reply to
his question.

'Well, I want to
talk
to you about my brother,' Tess
answered back in the same annoyed tone.
'He's
really, really sick....and I want
to buy a miracle.'

'I beg your
pardon?'
said the
pharmacist.

'His name is Andrew and
he has something bad
growing inside his
head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save
him now.. So how
much does a miracle
cost?'

'We don't sell miracles
here, little girl.
I'm sorry but I
can't help you,' the pharmacist said, softening
a little.


'Listen, I have the
money to pay for it.. If it isn't enough, I will
get
the rest. Just tell me how much it
costs.'

The pharmacist's brother
was
a well dressed man. He stooped down
and asked the little girl, 'What kind of
a
miracle does your brother
need?'

' I don't know,' Tess
replied with her&nb sp;
eyes welling up I
just know he's really sick and Mommy says he
needs an
operation. But my Daddy can't
pay for it, so I want to use my
money.'


'How much do you
have?' asked the man from Chicago
.

'One dollar
and
eleven cents,' Tess answered barely
audible.

'And it's all the
money
I have, but I can get some more
if I need to.'

'Well, what
a
coincidence,' smiled the man. 'A
dollar and eleven cents---the exact price of
a
miracle for little
brothers.'

He took her money in one
hand and with
the other hand he grasped
her mitten and said 'Take me to where you live..
I want
to see your brother and meet
your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle
you need.'

That well-dressed man
was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a
surgeon,
specializing in neuro-surgery.
The operation was completed free of charge and
it
wasn't long until Andrew was home
again and doing well.

Mom and Dad
were
happily talking about the chain of
events that had led them to this
place


'That surgery,' her Mom
whispered. 'was a real miracle. I wonder
how
much it would have
cost?'

Tess smiled. She knew
exactly how much a
miracle cost....one
dollar and eleven cents...plus the faith of a
little child.


In our lives, we
never know how many miracles we will
need.

A
miracle is not the

suspension of natural law, but the operation of
a higher law.
I know you'll keep the
ball moving!

Here it goes. Throw it
back to
someone who means something to
you!

A ball is a circle, no
beginning, no
end. It keeps us together
like our Circle of Friends. But the treasure
inside
for you to see is the treasure
of friendship you've granted to
me.

Today
I pass the
friendship ball to you.
<! /span>
Pass it on
to someone who is a friend
to
you.

MY OATH TO
YOU...

When you are sad.....I will
dry your
tears.

When you
are scared......I will comfort your
fears.

When
you are
worried......I will give you
hope.

When you are
confused......I
will help you
cope.

And when you are lost...and
can't see the light, I
shall be your
beacon..shining ever so
bright.

This is my
oath....I
pledge till the
end.

Why you may ask?....Because
you're my friend.


Signed:
GOD

No comments:

Post a Comment

Your comments are always welcomed. Let me here from you on your stories or information that can be added to my posts for more information.