Learning about courage from domestic violence survivors
Seventeen-year-old Lori Lee* and her 7-year old sister endured years of her father’s psychological and verbal abuse before Lori’s mother finally decided to move with her daughters into a local domestic violence shelter. But without any income or support from family and friends, they feared uncertain futures. Lori and her mother also were undocumented immigrants, having come to the United States when Lori was just 4 years old.
I help domestic violence survivors as an attorney at the Asian Pacific American Legal Center (APALC) by helping them apply for immigration benefits as well as restraining orders and divorces in family court. As with many of our cases, I first met Lori and her mother after the domestic violence shelter referred them to APALC for help with their legal cases.
As we began working on Lori's immigration case, it became clear that her story did not fit into an all-too-familiar narrative of 911 calls, bruises, and broken bones. Her case lacked formal evidence that the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service sees in many cases. But the abuse and the trauma were very real nonetheless. In Lori’s earliest childhood memories, her father had an explosive temper and would smash and shatter windows, throw furniture, curse at her, and call her “retarded” and other names. He would use any money the family had for his daily beer binges and would drive drunk when bringing his daughters to school. Any complaint from one of his daughters would even cause Lori’s father to threaten to kill himself in front of them.
When I asked Lori what about her father had scared her the most, she described the aftermath of her father’s involvement in business scams. He cheated neighbors and anyone else he could out of thousands, sometimes hundreds of thousands, of dollars. Lori’s father then would disappear for weeks at a time, before the disgruntled and violent creditors could get to him, and left his wife and young daughters to fend for themselves. On and off over several years, these strangers would show up at Lori’s family home and threaten to kill the entire family because of her father’s actions. Lori’s mother’s fruitless attempts to seek protection from the police made her realize that the only way she could keep her daughters safe was by leaving her husband.
In June 2012, both Lori and her mother were granted U non-immigrant (U visa) status, and are now slowly rebuilding their lives in a stable home environment. Lori is able to work and attends a top university. She wants to become a social worker so that she can help empower children in similarly abusive situations.
I am fortunate to be one of several APALC attorneys to have the opportunity to work with domestic violence survivors like Lori and her mother on a daily basis. In each case, we learn details of survivors’ heartbreaking ordeals, but also are inspired by witnessing their courage and strength in overcoming their struggles.
In recognition of October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, let’s celebrate the bravery of domestic violence survivors who learn the value of empowerment, and hope others facing similar abuse will also come forward.
Learn more about APALC’s work to help survivors of domestic violence:
http://www.apalc.org/what-we-do/direct-services/domestic-violence-and-family-law
* Name has been changed to protect the client’s identity.
I help domestic violence survivors as an attorney at the Asian Pacific American Legal Center (APALC) by helping them apply for immigration benefits as well as restraining orders and divorces in family court. As with many of our cases, I first met Lori and her mother after the domestic violence shelter referred them to APALC for help with their legal cases.
As we began working on Lori's immigration case, it became clear that her story did not fit into an all-too-familiar narrative of 911 calls, bruises, and broken bones. Her case lacked formal evidence that the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service sees in many cases. But the abuse and the trauma were very real nonetheless. In Lori’s earliest childhood memories, her father had an explosive temper and would smash and shatter windows, throw furniture, curse at her, and call her “retarded” and other names. He would use any money the family had for his daily beer binges and would drive drunk when bringing his daughters to school. Any complaint from one of his daughters would even cause Lori’s father to threaten to kill himself in front of them.
When I asked Lori what about her father had scared her the most, she described the aftermath of her father’s involvement in business scams. He cheated neighbors and anyone else he could out of thousands, sometimes hundreds of thousands, of dollars. Lori’s father then would disappear for weeks at a time, before the disgruntled and violent creditors could get to him, and left his wife and young daughters to fend for themselves. On and off over several years, these strangers would show up at Lori’s family home and threaten to kill the entire family because of her father’s actions. Lori’s mother’s fruitless attempts to seek protection from the police made her realize that the only way she could keep her daughters safe was by leaving her husband.
In June 2012, both Lori and her mother were granted U non-immigrant (U visa) status, and are now slowly rebuilding their lives in a stable home environment. Lori is able to work and attends a top university. She wants to become a social worker so that she can help empower children in similarly abusive situations.
I am fortunate to be one of several APALC attorneys to have the opportunity to work with domestic violence survivors like Lori and her mother on a daily basis. In each case, we learn details of survivors’ heartbreaking ordeals, but also are inspired by witnessing their courage and strength in overcoming their struggles.
In recognition of October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, let’s celebrate the bravery of domestic violence survivors who learn the value of empowerment, and hope others facing similar abuse will also come forward.
Learn more about APALC’s work to help survivors of domestic violence:
http://www.apalc.org/what-we-do/direct-services/domestic-violence-and-family-law
* Name has been changed to protect the client’s identity.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Your comments are always welcomed. Let me here from you on your stories or information that can be added to my posts for more information.