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Fear

Hell on earth is not a place but a state of mind!
Have you lived in fear, cowered when a hand is raised, felt empty and alone, or felt that your life has been stolen from you because anxiety and depression is nipping at your heals? Is your laughter gone? Has your spirit been broken, and the word hope is no longer in your vocabulary? I was once in that dark place of no return. My mind, body, heart and soul were broken into a million pieces, and the fear running through my veins were earth shattering. My brain was numb to all rational thinking and thoughts of suicide were like taking a common every day breath. The only thing that saved me was a moment of clarity to realize that I couldn't leave my young children behind with this person I was married to. My isolation and captivity was complete. I am still in counseling for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 3 years later, but I am finding out who I really am for the first time in my life. I am loving, smart, funny, and most of all I have learned that I am a good wife and a good mother after 21 years of hearing I wasn't good enough for anything. My life has been forever changed, and life is good. Challenges still arise, but with my new husband and my family always there for me with unconditional love and support I am
making it one day at a time.
My dream is that one day divorce courts will address mental, verbal and psychological (emotional) abuse as a prosecutable offense. The scars run deep and wide with all forms of abuse, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.Research is starting to show that mental abuse is longer lasting to its victims than physical abuse. I can now say I am a survivor!
Hope is something I never had, until my escape became a reality not a dream. Hope is now a wonderful word in my vocabulary, and fear is a thing of the past. My number one goal is to finish school with a PHD degree in Pyschology so that I can help women and men, who are still in that dark place of no return and to keep my children safe and showing them that they are loved. I want to show victims that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a freedom of the soul they never thought possible. Abused women and men need to know that there is life after they go through hell on earth, a traumatic experience, that will forever change who they are and who they can be.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Spin Cycle Stop:

A Practical Handbook on Domestic Violence Awareness (Google eBook)
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AuthorHouse, Jun 18, 2009 - 164 pages
One of the most difficult and dangerous things a person can do is to leave an abusive relationship. This book provides insights into what victims go through and the challenges they face to change from "victims" to "survivors." It is filled with real-life stories and experinces as well as quotes from survivors who have made that change. It also provides information the author feels is important not only for the survivor but also for the family, friends and loved ones of those caught up in the frightening, crazy-making world of abusive relationships. The author addresses such issues as: What is domestic violence? Why do victims stay and/or return to the abuser? What are the psychological, emotional and verbal tools the abuser uses to control the victim? What is the worst part of the abuse according to victims? What is the Cycle of Abuse and how does it compare to the Cycle of Respect? Why is it so hard to get away? What is Safety Planning and how can friends, family and loved ones play a big part in it?
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