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Fear

Hell on earth is not a place but a state of mind!
Have you lived in fear, cowered when a hand is raised, felt empty and alone, or felt that your life has been stolen from you because anxiety and depression is nipping at your heals? Is your laughter gone? Has your spirit been broken, and the word hope is no longer in your vocabulary? I was once in that dark place of no return. My mind, body, heart and soul were broken into a million pieces, and the fear running through my veins were earth shattering. My brain was numb to all rational thinking and thoughts of suicide were like taking a common every day breath. The only thing that saved me was a moment of clarity to realize that I couldn't leave my young children behind with this person I was married to. My isolation and captivity was complete. I am still in counseling for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 3 years later, but I am finding out who I really am for the first time in my life. I am loving, smart, funny, and most of all I have learned that I am a good wife and a good mother after 21 years of hearing I wasn't good enough for anything. My life has been forever changed, and life is good. Challenges still arise, but with my new husband and my family always there for me with unconditional love and support I am
making it one day at a time.
My dream is that one day divorce courts will address mental, verbal and psychological (emotional) abuse as a prosecutable offense. The scars run deep and wide with all forms of abuse, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.Research is starting to show that mental abuse is longer lasting to its victims than physical abuse. I can now say I am a survivor!
Hope is something I never had, until my escape became a reality not a dream. Hope is now a wonderful word in my vocabulary, and fear is a thing of the past. My number one goal is to finish school with a PHD degree in Pyschology so that I can help women and men, who are still in that dark place of no return and to keep my children safe and showing them that they are loved. I want to show victims that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a freedom of the soul they never thought possible. Abused women and men need to know that there is life after they go through hell on earth, a traumatic experience, that will forever change who they are and who they can be.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Help
Open your heart
Peace
Educate yourself


Hope is one of the strongest words in my vocabulary.  I use to not have hope for a future without fear, pain, humiliation, depression, gut wrenching butterflies, and happiness.  My wish for you women still out there in an abusive relationship is that HOPE opens your heart to FREEDOM.

Getting H-E-L-P is one of the most important things you can do not only for yourself, but your children.  Make that first phone call that will give you the freedom you deserve and need for your own survival. Whether it's from verbal, mental, psycological, or physical abuse, they not only leave scars on you, but your children.

In order to truly heal your mind, body and heart, you need to open your heart to yourself, your children, friends,and your family. These are the people that will give you support and unconditional love.

Peace can be one of the most amazing feelings that you will ever have. Let serenity, harmony, and tranquility sink into your body for the joy of just being alive.

Educate yourself.  Don't be ignorant of the people that can help you.  Read self help books to learn about your personal story. Why does he/she do what they do? How can I get out? How do I stay safe? There are so many questions out there, find the answers to help yourself.  Knowledge is strength.

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