Pages

Fear

Hell on earth is not a place but a state of mind!
Have you lived in fear, cowered when a hand is raised, felt empty and alone, or felt that your life has been stolen from you because anxiety and depression is nipping at your heals? Is your laughter gone? Has your spirit been broken, and the word hope is no longer in your vocabulary? I was once in that dark place of no return. My mind, body, heart and soul were broken into a million pieces, and the fear running through my veins were earth shattering. My brain was numb to all rational thinking and thoughts of suicide were like taking a common every day breath. The only thing that saved me was a moment of clarity to realize that I couldn't leave my young children behind with this person I was married to. My isolation and captivity was complete. I am still in counseling for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 3 years later, but I am finding out who I really am for the first time in my life. I am loving, smart, funny, and most of all I have learned that I am a good wife and a good mother after 21 years of hearing I wasn't good enough for anything. My life has been forever changed, and life is good. Challenges still arise, but with my new husband and my family always there for me with unconditional love and support I am
making it one day at a time.
My dream is that one day divorce courts will address mental, verbal and psychological (emotional) abuse as a prosecutable offense. The scars run deep and wide with all forms of abuse, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.Research is starting to show that mental abuse is longer lasting to its victims than physical abuse. I can now say I am a survivor!
Hope is something I never had, until my escape became a reality not a dream. Hope is now a wonderful word in my vocabulary, and fear is a thing of the past. My number one goal is to finish school with a PHD degree in Pyschology so that I can help women and men, who are still in that dark place of no return and to keep my children safe and showing them that they are loved. I want to show victims that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a freedom of the soul they never thought possible. Abused women and men need to know that there is life after they go through hell on earth, a traumatic experience, that will forever change who they are and who they can be.

Friday, December 28, 2012

Connections Between Substance Use and Family Violence

By , About.com Guide
Updated July 15, 2011
About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board
Connections Between Substance Use and Family Violence
Substance Use and Family Violence
Image (c) Colin Adamson
Ads
Find Drug Rehab CentersDrug-Rehab.orgOverwhelmed? Don't Know Where to Start? Addiction Help, 888-491-5510
 
 
Drug Treatment CentersStopYourAddiction.com/DrugTreatmentInpatient Rehabilitation for Drug Dependency. Call 866-788-6033 .
Suncoast Rehab CenterSuncoastRehabCenter.comAddiction Treatment Program That Works! Guaranteed. 866-793-6970
The connection between substance use and family violence, also known as domestic violence, has been well-known for many years. But the connection is not straightforward, and alcohol and drug use affects individuals, families and relationships in many complex ways.
Some of the major ways that substance use and family violence are related are outlined here.

Childhood Abuse

There are many types of family violence, and one of the most common is childhood abuse. There is a high incidence of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in childhood among people who have problems with alcohol and drugs. One of the great ironies of childhood abuse is that people who become abusers in adulthood, and those who are victims in abusive relationships in adulthood, are more likely to have been abused as children.

Using Substances to Cope With Abuse

Use of alcohol, medications, and calming drugs can help people who are victimized by family violence or are in other abusive relationships. Alcohol and many other drugs, such as opiates, have a temporary pain-relieving effect. People who have been injured through family violence often do not seek medical help, and may use alcohol and drugs to cope.
These drugs are also effective in temporarily relieving emotional pain. The temporary nature of the drug effect feeds the cycle of addiction, as the user will often experience a rebound effect after the drug wears off, resulting in greater physical and emotional pain.

Drugs Lower Inhibition and Impulse Control

People who are under the influence of alcohol and other drugs are more likely to abuse their partners and children, whether they are aware of the violence they are inflicting on their family members or not. The disinhibiting effects of alcohol and other drugs may make it more likely that someone who is already experiencing frustration or anger will lash out. Also, because alcohol and other drugs affect people's abilities to think clearly about what they are doing, they are more likely to make errors in judgement when under the influence.

Some Important Considerations

  • Alcohol and drug use do not cause family violence.
  • Many people use alcohol and drugs and are never violent, and many are protective of their families.
  • Many people who have been abused in childhood do not use alcohol or drugs.

If You Have Experienced Family Violence, Get Help

Professionals who work with victims of family violence are well aware of the link between substance abuse and family violence. Particularly if you are in a long-term abusive relationship, you may feel alone and that no one will understand or help you. But there is help available, which can be accessed through many sources. If you are not sure who to turn to for help, here are some ideas:
  • Your local police station
  • Your family doctor
  • The emergency room at your local hospital, particularly if you think you may have been injured
  • A hotline, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 ; 800-787-3224 (TTY for the deaf)
Many places also have a range of services for people in abusive relationships and those experiencing family violence. These may include:
  • Shelters -- often for women and children fleeing abuse
  • Social Services -- social workers can help you access safety and resources
  • Family counseling services
  • Family resource centers, which can help with all aspects of parenting and family support
  • Churches

Barriers to Getting Help

In rare cases, people in abusive relationships are physically prevented from accessing help from the outside world. Much more often, the barriers to getting help are in the minds of the victims of family violence. These barriers feel real and are understandable, but you owe it to yourself and your children to overcome them:
  • Shame and embarrassment
  • Fear of getting into trouble, getting your partner into trouble, or your partner coming after you. The best way to protect yourself and your children is to get away from an abuser and to tell the full story to people who can help you.
  • Financial dependence on an abusive partner. Your partner may well have financial responsibilities to you and your children, whether or not you stay in the relationship.
  • Love of, or fear of losing your partner. Abuse is not based on love. Your best chance of a loving relationship with your partner is for him or her to get help and for the victim to find a way to be safe.
  • Denial that the abuse is serious, that it will happen again, or that you or your partner has a problem with alcohol, drugs or an addiction.
  • Enabling your partner -- both to continue with their addictive behavior, and to continue with the abuse.
If you or a child or another person has been injured by a violent family member, call 911.

for more information please visit: addictions.about.com/od/familyrelationships/a/domesticviolence.htm

No comments:

Post a Comment

Your comments are always welcomed. Let me here from you on your stories or information that can be added to my posts for more information.