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Hell on earth is not a place but a state of mind!
Have you lived in fear, cowered when a hand is raised, felt empty and alone, or felt that your life has been stolen from you because anxiety and depression is nipping at your heals? Is your laughter gone? Has your spirit been broken, and the word hope is no longer in your vocabulary? I was once in that dark place of no return. My mind, body, heart and soul were broken into a million pieces, and the fear running through my veins were earth shattering. My brain was numb to all rational thinking and thoughts of suicide were like taking a common every day breath. The only thing that saved me was a moment of clarity to realize that I couldn't leave my young children behind with this person I was married to. My isolation and captivity was complete. I am still in counseling for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 3 years later, but I am finding out who I really am for the first time in my life. I am loving, smart, funny, and most of all I have learned that I am a good wife and a good mother after 21 years of hearing I wasn't good enough for anything. My life has been forever changed, and life is good. Challenges still arise, but with my new husband and my family always there for me with unconditional love and support I am
making it one day at a time.
My dream is that one day divorce courts will address mental, verbal and psychological (emotional) abuse as a prosecutable offense. The scars run deep and wide with all forms of abuse, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.Research is starting to show that mental abuse is longer lasting to its victims than physical abuse. I can now say I am a survivor!
Hope is something I never had, until my escape became a reality not a dream. Hope is now a wonderful word in my vocabulary, and fear is a thing of the past. My number one goal is to finish school with a PHD degree in Pyschology so that I can help women and men, who are still in that dark place of no return and to keep my children safe and showing them that they are loved. I want to show victims that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a freedom of the soul they never thought possible. Abused women and men need to know that there is life after they go through hell on earth, a traumatic experience, that will forever change who they are and who they can be.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Signs of Manipulative Personalities

                

Manipulators turn your emotions against you to get what they want.


If you have ever felt like your partner, co-worker or friend was trying to make you feel sorry for them, you may have been the victim of an emotional manipulator. People with manipulative personalities want to get their way, and they tend to do whatever it takes to get it. A manipulator's tactics may include bribery, teasing or guilt. Recognizing the signs of a person with a manipulative personality can help you avoid such people and instead seek out worthwhile, nurturing relationships.

 



  1. Guilt

    • People with manipulative personalities know how to effectively use guilt to their advantage. For instance, your partner may say "You don't really love me" if you refuse to give in to his requests. He may exaggerate his disappointment and make you feel like you are the source of his unhappiness. He may use crying and tears to make you feel guilty. Even children can use this ploy to get their way. Emotional manipulators cast themselves in the role of the victim to make everyone around them feel sorry for them.

    Teasing and Bullying

    • Children and teenagers often use teasing as a way to manipulate others, although adults can use this tactic too. The manipulator may call you names, causing your self-esteem to suffer, until you give in to her demands. She may also threaten you, for example, suggesting that your relationship with her will end if she does not get what she desires. If you think that a person is making you feel bad on purpose, this is a sign that she is a manipulator.

    Bribes and Affection

    • Some manipulators pretend to be nice to you to get their way. A person may bribe you to go on a date with him, for example, by offering you a free meal, drink or other desirable item. She may use affection to coerce you into doing her chores or taking over her responsibilities. The manipulator will, rather than call you derogatory names, say that she knows you don't mind helping them since you love them so much. At first, it seems like the person is kind and grateful, but after she uses this excuse repeatedly, her true motives become obvious.

    Disrespect and Blame

    • People who manipulate others do not have any respect for their victims. A manipulator may ask his victim to do something he believes is unethical. When the victim protests or refuses, the manipulator continues to harass them until they give in. Manipulators are very passive-aggressive. They will blame you for things that go wrong because of their behavior. Manipulators try to appear innocent, even when they are obviously guilty, using others around them as scapegoats.



Read more: Signs of Manipulative Personalities | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/info_8596011_signs-manipulative-personalities.html#ixzz2IfUQ2z1y

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