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Fear

Hell on earth is not a place but a state of mind!
Have you lived in fear, cowered when a hand is raised, felt empty and alone, or felt that your life has been stolen from you because anxiety and depression is nipping at your heals? Is your laughter gone? Has your spirit been broken, and the word hope is no longer in your vocabulary? I was once in that dark place of no return. My mind, body, heart and soul were broken into a million pieces, and the fear running through my veins were earth shattering. My brain was numb to all rational thinking and thoughts of suicide were like taking a common every day breath. The only thing that saved me was a moment of clarity to realize that I couldn't leave my young children behind with this person I was married to. My isolation and captivity was complete. I am still in counseling for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 3 years later, but I am finding out who I really am for the first time in my life. I am loving, smart, funny, and most of all I have learned that I am a good wife and a good mother after 21 years of hearing I wasn't good enough for anything. My life has been forever changed, and life is good. Challenges still arise, but with my new husband and my family always there for me with unconditional love and support I am
making it one day at a time.
My dream is that one day divorce courts will address mental, verbal and psychological (emotional) abuse as a prosecutable offense. The scars run deep and wide with all forms of abuse, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.Research is starting to show that mental abuse is longer lasting to its victims than physical abuse. I can now say I am a survivor!
Hope is something I never had, until my escape became a reality not a dream. Hope is now a wonderful word in my vocabulary, and fear is a thing of the past. My number one goal is to finish school with a PHD degree in Pyschology so that I can help women and men, who are still in that dark place of no return and to keep my children safe and showing them that they are loved. I want to show victims that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a freedom of the soul they never thought possible. Abused women and men need to know that there is life after they go through hell on earth, a traumatic experience, that will forever change who they are and who they can be.

Monday, January 21, 2013

How to Detect Emotional Manipulation

 
How to Detect Emotional Manipulation thumbnail
Emotional Manipulation
Emotional manipulation usually starts out subtle, so much so that many people don't detect a problem. As time goes on, however, the manipulator's tactics become more outright. The deal is that they need time to get you to have feelings for them, so that it is hard for you to break free. This way when they ask for another chance you will give it to them.

 

 

    • To spot emotional manipulation you need to be aware, which means listening and looking for manipulation tactics. When a manipulator has years of experience they use words as their weapon of choice. They know exactly what to say and how to say it to get what they want.
      Understand that emotional manipulators don't care what you want. They may act as though they do, but know that they are also great actors. Many can cry on cue or act out fits of anger and not be angry at all.
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    • Emotional manipulators are charming and all your friends and family will like them. He/she puts on their best impersonation of a nice person around others. They continue this facade throughout your time together. This deception is how they make you out to be the crazy one.
      Your feelings are your best friend. If something doesn't feel right and you are feeling confused then you need to really pay close attention to what this person is saying and doing. When their actions don't match their words this is a bright red flag. They will say something like "Everybody makes mistakes I'm not perfect." This is a guilt trip set up don't buy into it!
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      Another emotional manipulation tactic is flirting'. They flirt' right in front of you then accuse you of over reacting. Naturally, then you're the bad guy/girl, they're just being friendly blah blah blah. They thrive on your drama, so they find ways to push buttons.
      Remember, in the beginning they're listening and watching, so they know what gets to you. You give them ammunition and they will use it! This is why you do not bare secrets early on. It's your secrets and fears that they use to make YOU appear unstable and unreasonable.
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      Look for doubt to set in, not in them, but in you. You will start doubting your own sanity. Did I really say that? Did I really do that? Emotional manipulation is all about making a person doubt themselves. This way the manipulator is always right and always gets their way. They are in control and plan to keep it that way.
      The use of guilt, anger, deception, intimidation, control and power will all come into play at some point. They will also be evasive, elusive and emotionally unavailable. There is no love only lust. Sad to say, but many people mistake lust for love and fall for this tactic head on.
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      Know that the worst part of this is that if you're around them long enough you will become like them. That's right, you become like who you're around. How do you fight back or survive if you don't use emotional manipulation tactics yourself? After all, manipulators don't play fair!
      Many times it ends in sadness and violence; emotional baggage to carry for life unless counsel is sought. To not fall for these emotional manipulators build your self esteem and confidence, so that their behaviors are unacceptable.


Read more: How to Detect Emotional Manipulation | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_5834570_detect-emotional-manipulation.html#ixzz2IfSqjhUV

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