Domestic Violence: Freedom Gives Hope, Hope Gives Freedom

Hell on earth is not a place but a state of mind!  Have you lived in fear, cowered when a hand is raised, felt empty and alone, or felt that your life has been stolen from you because  anxiety and depression is nipping at you're heals?  Is your laughter gone? Has your spirit been broken, and the word hope is no longer in your vocabulary? I was once in that dark place of no return.  My mind, body, heart and soul were broken into a million pieces, and the fear running through my veins were earth shattering.  My brain was numb to all rational thinking and thoughts of suicide were like taking a common every day breath .  The only thing that saved me was a moment of clarity to realize that I couldn't leave my young children behind with this person I was married to.  My isolation  and captivity was complete. I am still in counseling for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 3 years later, but I am finding out who I really am for the first time in my life. I am loving, smart, funny, and most of all I have learned that I am a good wife and a good mother after 21 years of  hearing I wasn't  good enough for anything.  My life has been forever changed, and life is good.  Challenges still arise, but with my husband and my family always there for me with unconditional love and support  I am making it one day at a time. Don't get me wrong, there are some days that I don't feel like I can fully mend, and I will always be that broken, empty shell of a person I use to be.       

My dream is that one day divorce courts will address mental, emotional and psychological abuse as a prosecutable offense.  The scars run deep and wide with all forms of abuse, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.  Research is starting to show that mental abuse is longer lasting to it's victims then physical abuse.  I can now say I am a survivor!

             Hope is something I never had, until my escape became a reality not a dream. Hope is now a wonderful word in my vocabulary, and fear is a thing of the past. My number one goal is to finish school with my masters degree so that I can help women, who are still in that dark place of no return.  I want to show them that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a freedom of the soul they never thought possible.  Abused women need to know that there is life after they go through hell on earth, a traumatic experience, that will forever change who they are and who they can be. 

Jill Griffin