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Fear

Hell on earth is not a place but a state of mind!
Have you lived in fear, cowered when a hand is raised, felt empty and alone, or felt that your life has been stolen from you because anxiety and depression is nipping at your heals? Is your laughter gone? Has your spirit been broken, and the word hope is no longer in your vocabulary? I was once in that dark place of no return. My mind, body, heart and soul were broken into a million pieces, and the fear running through my veins were earth shattering. My brain was numb to all rational thinking and thoughts of suicide were like taking a common every day breath. The only thing that saved me was a moment of clarity to realize that I couldn't leave my young children behind with this person I was married to. My isolation and captivity was complete. I am still in counseling for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 3 years later, but I am finding out who I really am for the first time in my life. I am loving, smart, funny, and most of all I have learned that I am a good wife and a good mother after 21 years of hearing I wasn't good enough for anything. My life has been forever changed, and life is good. Challenges still arise, but with my new husband and my family always there for me with unconditional love and support I am
making it one day at a time.
My dream is that one day divorce courts will address mental, verbal and psychological (emotional) abuse as a prosecutable offense. The scars run deep and wide with all forms of abuse, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.Research is starting to show that mental abuse is longer lasting to its victims than physical abuse. I can now say I am a survivor!
Hope is something I never had, until my escape became a reality not a dream. Hope is now a wonderful word in my vocabulary, and fear is a thing of the past. My number one goal is to finish school with a PHD degree in Pyschology so that I can help women and men, who are still in that dark place of no return and to keep my children safe and showing them that they are loved. I want to show victims that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a freedom of the soul they never thought possible. Abused women and men need to know that there is life after they go through hell on earth, a traumatic experience, that will forever change who they are and who they can be.

Monday, January 21, 2013

How to Recognize a Manipulative Relationship

 
  • A manipulative relationship causes stress and unhappiness.


    Recognizing a manipulative relationship is important to prevent the problems it can cause you. Such a relationship is destructive and will affect your ties with old friends and family. Knowing how to spot manipulative behavior requires determination. With that in mind, be prepared to invest the effort to master this skill. This process will require you to recognize the traits and possessiveness in your partner as well as evaluate the honesty and cycles of the relationship.

     


     

      • 1
        Evaluate the truthfulness of the relationship. Be objective as you consider how things have changed since the start of the relationship. Be aware of any tension when your partner's name comes up with other family members. It is a major concern when everyone who is close to you is worried about your relationship. Think of how he makes you feel or how your traits have worsened during the course of the relationship. This is a sign that he is bringing out the worst of you.
      • 2
        Recognize any excessive jealousy or possessiveness your partner may portray. It is OK If your partner is protective of you, but if she is overly protective, that can be alarming. If she interrogates you when you are not home on time or if she questions you too much about every single thing you do or say while she is not present, then she may have a possessive attitude or personality. Being overly possessive is a dangerous sign that your partner is manipulative and controlling.
      • 3
        Watch for repeated cycles from your partner during the relationship. These cycles consist of committing a mistake, making a shallow apology and seeking your affection afterward. Think of a situation where he does something wrong and then asks for your forgiveness and then does something else wrong and sincerely asks for your forgiveness again. This is part of the control that he seeks by using your compassion to alter your judgment.
      • 4
        Recognize how you turn a blind eye to your partner's mistakes. Infatuation can be a good thing for the first part of a relationship. However, infatuation will often make you blind to her manipulative ways. Open your eyes and see the obvious warning signals, such as always apologizing and making up excuses for her behavior or becoming defensive when someone questions your relationship. If this is the case, chances are you already know there is something wrong with the relationship. Keep in mind that in a healthy relationship, you should have nothing to hide.



    Read more: How to Recognize a Manipulative Relationship | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2165489_recognize-manipulative-relationship.html#ixzz2IfYMKnp9
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