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Fear

Hell on earth is not a place but a state of mind!
Have you lived in fear, cowered when a hand is raised, felt empty and alone, or felt that your life has been stolen from you because anxiety and depression is nipping at your heals? Is your laughter gone? Has your spirit been broken, and the word hope is no longer in your vocabulary? I was once in that dark place of no return. My mind, body, heart and soul were broken into a million pieces, and the fear running through my veins were earth shattering. My brain was numb to all rational thinking and thoughts of suicide were like taking a common every day breath. The only thing that saved me was a moment of clarity to realize that I couldn't leave my young children behind with this person I was married to. My isolation and captivity was complete. I am still in counseling for PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) 3 years later, but I am finding out who I really am for the first time in my life. I am loving, smart, funny, and most of all I have learned that I am a good wife and a good mother after 21 years of hearing I wasn't good enough for anything. My life has been forever changed, and life is good. Challenges still arise, but with my new husband and my family always there for me with unconditional love and support I am
making it one day at a time.
My dream is that one day divorce courts will address mental, verbal and psychological (emotional) abuse as a prosecutable offense. The scars run deep and wide with all forms of abuse, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they don't exist.Research is starting to show that mental abuse is longer lasting to its victims than physical abuse. I can now say I am a survivor!
Hope is something I never had, until my escape became a reality not a dream. Hope is now a wonderful word in my vocabulary, and fear is a thing of the past. My number one goal is to finish school with a PHD degree in Pyschology so that I can help women and men, who are still in that dark place of no return and to keep my children safe and showing them that they are loved. I want to show victims that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a freedom of the soul they never thought possible. Abused women and men need to know that there is life after they go through hell on earth, a traumatic experience, that will forever change who they are and who they can be.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Hello Everyone!!

Hello Everyone,


I am so sorry I haven't written in quite a while.  I will be more diligent in the future to stay more up to date with my blog.


Some Updates:


I am a senior at Northern Arizona University and have added criminology as a major beyond Psychology and have kept my minor in Sociology.  I will graduate in Spring 2016 and will start graduate school in the Fall of 2016 with my masters in counseling.


 School has been such a healing aspect of me being able to say that I am a survivor.  I have learned so much and I hope to share as much with you as I can about what I have learned and any future knowledge that I gain.


I have been out of counseling for almost 2 years now and have healed so much with the help of my husband ( who we just celebrated our 4 year anniversary which has been bliss), my parents, my children, other family and friends.


I have so much joy in my life now and know who I am for the first time in my life because I have no one controlling my every move and terrorizing me at every turn.  I am hoping to help you as my followers and others learn to enjoy life and find peace with the freedom of your hearts and souls with helpful information and pick me quotes that will help get your through your day. 


Jill
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